Support message matching in death tests

[rascani]

🚀 The feature, motivation and pitch

In #16162, we added a variety of null pointer asserts and a corresponding set of death tests to ensure they are caught. An earlier revision of the the PR included message matchers for those assertions, but these all failed on Windows. The reason why was not immediately clear, but the default matcher for string literals is regex-based and there is different gtest regex parsing on posix systems than Windows & Mac.

It would be preferable to bring back the message matching and investigate why Windows failed. Having message matching would allow us to ensure that the right assert is firing.

Alternatives

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Additional context

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RFC (Optional)

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